F-R-I-E-N-D …..FRIEND. What does that mean? The Encarta Dictionary describes “friend” in a few different ways: (1) somebody emotionally close •
somebody who trusts and is fond of another; (2) acquaintance •
somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with somebody else; (3) ally •
somebody who is not an enemy; and/or (4) advocate of cause •
a defender or supporter of a cause, group, or principle.
Remember when you were younger, and you made friends so quickly? And remember how easily those friendships could end? Remember when you use to write “Best Friends Forever” on everything, and you would defend your friend no matter what? Remember when you use to lie about being at your friend’s house and they would do the same, just so you two could sneak out to a party or something? Those were the good old days. Then you graduate from high school, go off to college, and make new friends. Now these friends came with more complications. Life is more complex, and thus, so are your friends. You try to hang on to those friends from high school, especially the ones who went with you to college. You build new friends and your circles change. After you graduate from college, you start to find friendships with the people you work with, all the while, trying to keep a connection to the friends who got you through this far.
As life changes, you change, and so do your friends. I kept in touch with 3 of my friends from high school on a semi-regular basis. None of them went to college with me, and therefore, I made a whole new group of friends. Surprisingly enough, those friends didn’t really stick that well. I left with 2 really good friends. From there I worked awhile, and I got 2 really good friends out of that experience. I went back to college, and made some great friends, of which I still talk to today. Now, I am in Peace Corp, and making friends again is the expectation.
Just think… it took me several months if not years to form the friendships that I have, especially the ones I value the most. They throw you in a group of 30 or more, and make you spend almost every day with at least someone from the group. You’re in a new country with strangers going through a new experience, and you’re missing home. You have no choice but to try to bond with people. Sometimes you get lucky, and you bond immediately. Other times, people change and you find yourself not so close. People aren’t who they seem to be at first because everyone is new to the experience, but as time goes on, people show who they truly are. I bonded with a few people in my training class. I even have a super close friend who I think will be a friend for life. Only time will tell.
The weird thing …. You live with this group for 3 months. You have bonded. Now it’s time to start your service, and they separate you. Each person goes to a different location in the country depending on your skills and needs. If you’re lucky, you will live relatively close to the people you bonded with in training. Some are not so lucky. Some are split up by at least 6 hours or more. In a country where there is no unlimited-minutes plan, you may talk to your friend here or there, but it won’t be often. The goal is for you to make friend in the site you are in, to share experiences with those people, and to fully integrate yourself there. But what about the bonds you made? Do you just forget about those? Was that a waste of time? Why did you really go through it if you can’t be friends later?
So you integrate yourself. You make friends with the people in your site, yet there’s still a whole. You miss the bond you had during training. You miss those things that make you alike. You miss talking to the person who understands the things you are going through with your service. Your friends at home will never understand what you are going through. They just don’t have the perspective. So you reach out to your PC friends. Despite the fact that they are, at times, over 5 hours away from you, you try to find ways to hang out or at least talk via the minutes you just bought the other day when it was a triple day from Tigo. Or, if you are fortunate to have a site mate that you get along with, you try to hang out with them as much as possible.
I am very fortunate. Despite the fact that my site mate is leaving in about 2 months, we have had a great time together. We get along well, and I will truly miss her when she leaves. I also have friends that are about 3-4 hours away from me. We try to get together when we can (at least once a month), and we try to talk to each other once a week. It’s important to have these friends. It’s important to be able to share your experiences with someone who understands. We come from different parts of the States, and in any normal circumstance, we may have never seen or talked to each other, but through Peace Corps we have forged friendships that we can take back with us.
To my friends in the States, thank you for your support and friendship through the years, and to my PC friends, thank you for your understanding and I look forward to the many years of friendship to come.
